I came across this blog entry today about feeling lonely versus feeling alone. I mean the blogger had obviously done her share of research because she quotes the newyork times or some other fancy newspaper site with credibility that has prestigious institutions provide them with scientific empirical data to back up any of their claims, anyway, the said blogger stated that the news site said something like 65% of married or people in relationships admitted to feeling lonely (I am assuming 65% of the sample size). Now this the researcher had pointed out is very different from feeling alone because these people were in some way or another always around their other half. I sighed in relief as it justified those once in a while nights when I crawl into my cold sheets and terribly miss having that someone hold me from behind, and you know, shift into that warm and familiar nook under his arm that serves as your place of peace and belonging for the time that the two of you lie together. I know I am still young and my fear of turning into an old cat lady are highly premature, its nevertheless a thought that I occasionally have that may or may not make me extremely emotional depending on where I am in my cycle.
But now I realize, after careful deliberation that I am not lonely. I dont feel like I am misunderstood or unloved in any way. And I have several other facts or my own to back up the aforementioned statistic from the researchers from the credible institute I dont remember (I wonder if I should worry that it may not have been as prestigious an institution as I made it out to be in my head since I dont remember its name?). The facts are as follows:
1. I have a very loving and strong support system a la my family and my close friends. I dont feel emotionally lonely or lonely like I am misunderstood.
2. I have not experienced any major trauma in my life (knock on wood) thus far to create any kind of emotional unavailability or dejection so I am still well capable of being in a normal, healthy, and loving relationship (s0 I hope).
3. There have been men who have shown interest, some of them great guys who’ve come very close, but in the end they have just not been my type. I have a strict policy about not ‘giving things a shot’ unless somewhere in the back of my head I can see the possibility of it actually working out. Compromises are a bit of a touch and go for me.
Anyhow, the moral of this rambling is, it is normal to feel alone and want to have a special someone in you life. That does not mean you’re lonely. The constancy of loneliness is invariably different from the momentary feeling of aloneness. I have found that in those latter moments, which is when you feel alone, its best you preoccupy yourself by calling a close friend or watching a movie or better yet reading a book that has the capability to engulf you with its imagery and prose. Because otherwise, as momentary as that feeling is, you may end up calling or texting the last person you thought came close to fulfilling the requirements of a reliable and loving nook and when that moment has passed you’re left with a worse feeling of having to deal with that aberration.