I found a bunch of my old poems and ramblings (I used to document my thoughts and ramblings even as an (self-diagnosed) alexithymic teenager – look up alexithymia thank you very much) in a nice old folder and thought I might share one.
‘Precious’ I think was initially intended as a nostalgic romantic poem by yours truly when I was a teenager, of course romance and nostalgia at that age are hardly reflections of the depth these emotions will carry once you get older but I still think I have done a good job with this piece, if not for its ability to conjure images in your mind as you read it, then perhaps for the fact that I was immediately reminded of this sweet young boy who for a few weeks of my life made me feel feelings.
It was like a spark that lit in the shadows of the dark. One that lingers and sways with the moments that pass. I had discovered it, lost it, and found again. Reluctance abundance I moved forward. In hopes and dreams of no grand ending. I think that feeling was truly mutual.
We shared and shared with words unspoken. Moments of silence that loomed over our heads. I feared I should catch myself falling in vain. I learnt my lesson of a bubble broken. The disappointments were large with momentary tokens. He held me close but yet so far, I tried to speak, instead held my breath. Time would pass and leave us frozen.
For fear that he may choose it first. I thought of thoughts that left me hurt. In guilt and disheartenment I made the call. We shared our lives for a pigment light. A light that I shall fondly remember, but would soon realize it was really over. He was what he was and I hope he finds, all the joy and love in time.