You could base a tv show on my mother and I. Our relationship, I don’t presume, is any different than most mother-daughter relationships. You know the ‘I love you but I really hate what you’re doing/saying right now’ or the ‘You’re right…but I disagree’ type of relationship. The funny thing about these typical mother-daughter relationships is that, the daughter is pretty much a mini-me version of the mom. In my case, I am pretty much my mother some 26 or so years ago.
Mom and I have very similar likes and dislikes (with a tiny margin of error); we have similar habits and quirks (mine are just a bit more contemporary version of hers); we have the same thought processing capabilities; and the thing that gets the rest of my family the most is that her and I have exactly the same reactions to a lot of things (often time the reaction is that of disapproval aka furrowed brows, emotional aka teary eyes, or disgust aka scrunched up face). We are both very animated and loud when we talk. And fiercely competitive with ourselves which often means we push ourselves wayyy beyond our own limits (trust me, this is not always a good thing. Its exhausting and draining most of the time!). Despite all these similarities, and maybe because we often know what the other person is going to say or do, we get into a LOT of arguments.
That’s the thing about mother-daughter relationships you see, there exists this unwritten rule that states ‘no mother and daughter shall reach consensus on any decision (even if it may have been the same all along) without indulging in a bit of heated verbal roughhousing.’ What? You and your mother are best friends? The type of best friends that never disagree or argue? YOU’RE BOTH WEIRD!!! I suggest you and your mom start seeing a good therapist who can fix that soon, so that there is at least one irritated debate per week to bring your relationship back to normalcy. Gosh! I worry about you two 😦
My mother likes to point out things she thinks is wrong. It may be as simple as, “you’ve pinned the brooch on your top too high” to “you will most certainly not be allowed to go on vacation with a guy, even if he is only a friend who is planning on a vacation to the same country around the same time.” There are times when I disagree with her, in cases as the latter. Hes a good friend I trust and have known for a really long time, he has time off, I have time off, it would be nice to hang out on a beautiful country neither one has visited but of course I am not “allowed” to go. But for most other things I agree with her. BUT before I give in and agree, the god responsible for making sure all mother-daughter relationships adhere to the aforementioned law steps in and causes a means for argument. “Oh my god! Mom! You always have something to say about whats wrong with the way I dress, its a generation thing. You dont understand today’s fashion. Why must you always find faults in me!!!” (as I remove the brooch and re-pin it lower on my lapel because I agree, it was a bit too high). Being very similar to each other also means we know what things will piss the other person off the most, and so through life we try to outdo the level of ‘pissed-offness’ we can provoke in each other.
Me: “I think I want to get a small tattoo on my ankle, maybe a moon or star” (when a part of me if afraid of how its going to look as I age and my skin sags from all the years of no exercise).
Mom: “Why dont you take care of your skin? I saw so and so’s daughter the other day, shes practically glowing and said she uses this ‘insert beauty product name’. You should try it.” (when she knows I’ve been struggling with super sensitive skin that is allergic to everything all my life).
Me: “Ugh! I hate the decor in this living room. Its so overly done and claustrophobic. I prefer simpler, more clean cut and clutter free decorating” (Eventhough its the coziest room in the house and I spend many a evening hours cuddled up in the nook of one of the chairs reading on my kindle).
Mom: “Why did you guys break up? Did you say something that made him mad? I’ve told you that men do not like a know-it-all. You need to stop challenging every man to a ‘whose-more-intelligent’ duel” (even if she didn’t really like the guy in the first place).
For some of you reading this, this may sound a bit weird, maybe even a teeny bit crazy but I assure you it is not. My mother is the one person in my life who knows everything (except the real age at which I may have been deflowered hahahahaha). She is the person I turn to discuss all the major decisions I make in my life, often times by the end of the first hour a disagreeing and arguing we are usually able to come to some pretty good solutions. I love her and I know she loves me like any other mother with a World’s Best Mom coffee cup loves their children. When I live away from home too long, I miss our banter and the silly arguments we get into knowing damn well what the other person is actually trying to say but feigning ignorance and disagreement even when we are not. My siblings laugh at the two of us when we get into one of these exchanges. They shrug and say “you’re both exactly the same!!!” when we ask them to support either one of us in the argument. Sometimes at the end of the argument the two of us laugh at each other and point out how we are purposely saying certain things. Its a typical mother-daughter relationship. But given the amount of insight we have on each other, the interactions between my mom and I would make for damn good television 😉