The past week has been one of lesson learning. It all begins with a nice, crisp glass of white wine at a farewell party for a friend, which turned into two glasses, which turned into an entire bottle of sauvignon blanc, which apparently then turned into two. You get the picture.
Anyway, the lesson I was compelled to learn, besides the fact that getting drunk on wine causes a far worse hangover than getting drunk on anything else, happened the following week. On Monday I returned to work (the drunken debacle happened on the Friday before), a bit worried about what the coworkers who also happened to be at the party thought of my (as I remembered it) uncharacteristic dancing to all the new music people play at a party (I used to be a jazz dancer so I am not too terrible if I say so myself lol). This was a part they didnt really know about me. But as the day progressed on and I talked to them, no one really seemed to remember anything unusual, that was until my phone binged in the middle of a discussion with my boss. I glanced down, mid laughter from something funny someone mentioned to see a text from an unknown number. Huh? I thought and clicked on it, the blood slowly draining from my face as I read through the text:
“Hey there! This is X from Friday night. I thought you said you would be out Saturday so I looked for you. You did not come out?”
Who was this person? And how did they get my number? I freaked out because I thought, despite the fuzziness, I remembered pretty much all that happened on Friday night. I hadnt had a night of blacking out since Sophomore year of college. This was scary. I excused myself from my bosses and made my way over to talk to one of my coworkers who actually happened to be the one who dropped me home. He was a good friend, he was there the whole time, he would know if I gave my number out. Right? As we sat together at his desk and ran through the events of the night, he recounted an entire paragraph, quite clearly missing from my pages of the account of Friday night. Apparently I was dancing with some guy, who according to my friend looked like he was into black-market business (I immediately imagined the stereotypical gang leader in a hollywood cop movie), and when I asked him why, he said he was dressed like it, and that he overheard him mention something along those lines to me and when he looked over at me, my eyes were just glazed over in drunkenness so he didnt think I heard. I didnt think I could stomach much more so he cut to the chase, said nothing happened, we apparently danced together a while, he took my number and my friend dropped me home. I could not believe this. He also said I should probably be careful because the guy looked like he was the types who were persistent about what they wanted. How? Because he looked like he was the leader of a group of guys and the leader almost always gets what he wants.
If I thought I had experienced panic before, it was nothing compared to what was happening to me at that moment. Bing! second message:
“I hope I am not bothering you, or that I didnt scare you away. I just want to get to know you.”
After much thought and deliberation, which took me all the way to 6pm in the evening, with quivering hands and a racing mind I decided to text back:
“I am sorry. Had a busy day at work. I dont remember precisely what we talked about but I am sorry if I have, in any way, given you the wrong ideas. I am not sure its a good idea to get to know each other.”
I was still freaking out…….glancing at my phone repeatedly, until, bing!
“All I asked was to get to know each other, its not as if I am asking you for anything more. We just had a good time talking and I thought we might get along….”
Oh god! Do I get along with hoodlums when I’m drunk? Is that who I was now? Drunken dancing and phone number handing out idiot? Is he really a thug as my friend made him sound? Does he remember my face? Am I going to run into him in town? Could he be psychotically persistent? I started freaking out again…..
“Can we meet up and talk? I promise I will not make a move, if that is what you are afraid of.”
My response….2 days later because even though I decided I would ignore him till it stopped and by then I would have been hibernating for a month or so and people usually forget party trysts in a few weeks or so anyway right?
“I am sorry but I really cannot because I am out of town and will be returning in a few days”
I tried to get through my day trying not to let it bother me. Then I remembered my friend who worked at the phone service company who said they could track the phone number to see who it was registered to but often times people who have registered it in one name and the owner might turn out to be someone else….family, friends, etc. Still I called her up and asked her to look the number up. Then I also remembered how you can search someone on facebook with their phone numbers and when I did, my jaw dropped, literally fell open on my desk when the account associated with that number turned out to be the mousy guy who worked for accounts in my office. My friend called me back to confirm this information. This did not make sense for about five minutes and then it all dawned on me. It had to be my annoying friend who dropped me home!!! He pulled this ridiculous prank on me and it played out to perfection. I was furious! While I could have continued to play along and figure out a way to turn all this on him, I was so mad all I could do was storm into this office and bitch him out.
Lesson 1: Never drink to a point where you COULD forget something. That is apparently fcking dangerous, even if you have trusty guy friends to take care of you.
Lesson 2: Guy friends, at any age, will always and forever continue to play stupid pranks on you. Always be en garde!
Lesson 3: Stop being so gullible. Sometimes when you bloody gut tells you that you would never do something like that, just believe yourself. Everyone else could be lying (especially guy friends!).
Bottom line: My guy friends suck!……………sometimes 🙂